


Pls stop or I will pun(t) you into space

by Wolfene



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, F/F, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:00:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27134239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfene/pseuds/Wolfene
Summary: A very short fic where Ava is insufferable and Beatrice has to deal with it. Again and again and again.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 9
Kudos: 131





	Pls stop or I will pun(t) you into space

**Author's Note:**

> I've been feeling down lately so I thought maybe I'd lift someone else's spirits with something short and simple.
> 
> (I stole some jokes from the internet. Please don’t sue me.)

“Did it hurt?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“You didn’t let me finish!”  
  
“Ava.”  
  
“Did it hurt-”  
  
“No.”  
  
“- when you fell from heaven?”  
  
Beatrice heaved a long exasperated sigh, using it to hide her small smile forming at the edge of her lips. Indeed, interactions like these were plenty with the Warrior Nun around.

* * *

  


During one of their short breaks in the middle of sparring practice, the Halo bearer took a large gulp of water before addressing her sister warrior.  
  
“Hey, Beatrice, did I ever tell you about JC?”  
  
She had heard _distasteful_ things about Ava’s time with this JC character from Mary and Lilith, and she’d rather not know the details. If she were honest, she would say it was because of jealousy. But perfect Beatrice wouldn’t be jealous over a friend. Beatrice was unsure why Ava would suddenly bring the boy up. Did she miss him? Would she rather be spending time with him right now?  
  
“You know we were crashing at fancy vacation homes, right? It took me a while but in one particular house with the big yard, I finally told that hot guy how I felt. He told me he felt the same way. It made me so happy…”  
  
Beatrice tried her hardest to keep her composure, to not let her disdain for the boy show on her face. She was Ava’s friend and friends are supposed to be supportive, even if they choose a dumb dude over someone obviously better for them.  
  
So, Beatrice forced a strained smile and hummed, adding “Oh, is that so?”  
  
“…so I turned on the air conditioning.”  
  
“…what?”  
  
“Uh, Bea, you’re making a really scary face there. It was just a joke about us being literally hot!”  
  
Beatrice stood up abruptly and walked away even though their training session was not over yet. She could not be in the Warrior Nun’s presence without having unholy murderous thoughts at the moment. When she bumped into Camila, she didn’t even offer an apology.

* * *

  


“Ava, we don’t really do that here in Cat’s Cradle.”  
  
“So you mean to tell me that every single - heh single - year, you all spend Valentine’s Day alone?”  
  
“We’re nuns. What else did you think we’d do?”  
  
“I don’t know! But surely you guys aren’t THAT miserable and repressed?”  
  
“We took our vows willingly. We’re not miserable, Ava.”  
  
“Okay, fine. You spend your Valentine’s cosying up to Mr. Sky Man up there and I will do something that’s actually fun and normal.”  
  
“Please don’t call God that.” Beatrice chided but also gave in. “Humour me. What are your plans?”  
  
“Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentine’s Day.” Ava said shyly.  
  
Oh. Beatrice had thought that Ava didn’t know anyone new or anyone else. Did she meet somebody during one of her grocery runs with the other sister warriors? Beatrice had always acted on the assumption that she was closest to Ava. It hurt to think that there was someone else that would become more important to Ava.  
  
Oblivious to Beatrice’s inner turmoil, Ava grinned widely. “It’s February 14th.”  
  
_Lord, please grant me the strength to not strangle this infuriating girl I’m hopelessly in love with..._

* * *

  


“Hey, Bea, can I tell you something?” Ava quietly asked, her eyes downcast.  
  
Sensing the tension, Beatrice cautiously replied “Yes, of course. You can tell me anything, Ava.”  
  
“I- I fell in love with a girl.”  
  
This was it. This was going to be the moment one of them finally took the plunge and admitted their feelings for the other. Beatrice held her breath while her heart beat hopefully.  
  
“She’s amazing and smart and beautiful and badass,” Ava continued. “But there is one issue…”  
  
Beatrice felt a weird pang when she thought of how her vows meant they could not be closer without her breaking them. Nevertheless, she wanted to be selfish for once and hear Ava finally say the words.  
  
“I fell in love with this girl but she only knew four vowels. She didn’t know I existed.”  
  
Beatrice had to blink thrice very slowly and still she could not think of anything to say.  
  
“Get it? Didn’t know ‘i’ existed? Come on, that was a good one!”  
  
Beatrice balled her fists and exhaled through clenched teeth. “Ava… I swear to God himself…”  
  
Before the sister warrior could complete her threat, the Halo bearer yelped and started sprinting away.  
  
“Why are you running? WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, that last part is a meme reference because it seems I can only write crack.


End file.
